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User blog:Clockboxxer/Isaac Clarke vs Gordon Freeman
Interlude Clockworx: Space Marines. Badass soldiers. These two video gaming icons are certainly worth that title. Astral: Understatement of the year! Isaac Clarke, the space soldier of Dead Space. Clockworx: And Gordon Freeman, Half-Life's soldier of Black Mesa. Astral: He's Clockworx and I'm Astral! Clockworx: And we're here to analyze their skills, weaponry and abilities to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE. Isaac Clarke Dead Space Theme Clockworx: When it comes to zombie apocalypses, you'd expect decaying, walking, flesh devouring corpses roaming the lands of Earth. Astral: That IS kinda the case here, but this is a little different. Clockworx: In the distant future of 2508, one Isaac Clarke was an ordinary engineer. As ordinary as engineers from the future can get, that is. Working for the C.E.C., also known as the Concordance Extraction Corporation, Issac was sent to investigate the USG Ishimaru. Astral: But what he found was...something else entirely. Every crew member had died and morphed into Necromorphs. Which are kinda like zombies, but they can revive dead tissue and such. And they look creepy as hell. Astral: JESUS. Clockworx: Sheesh. That thing makes a Xenomorph look like a Care Bear. These Necromorphs were born by a Black Marker, which was sought out to be destroyed from then on. Anyway, if Isaac was gonna stop this infection, he was gonna need the right tools for the job. Cyanide Systems Offline Astral: Alright, the best part of analysis: gear! Isaac wields his trusty primary, the Plasma Cutter. This baby can not only cut opponents up in close quarters, but also has a hefty ranged energy blast! His Line Gun is a bit slower, but compensates with even stronger blasts and timed mines. And with even greater cutting power! Clockworx: His Pulse Rifle shoots rapid fire blasts. With the secondary fire of this weapon, high power turrets sprout out the side and spin around causing mayhem. And his Flamethrower can torch enemies with short range spray or long range fireballs. Astral: Ain't done just yet! Isaac shows off his Ripper, which can eject out buzzsaws, his Contact Beam, a blaster that can let out a devstating kinetic blast or a shockwave and his Force Gun, which can work as an energy shotgun, piercing blaster or a grenade launcher. Clockworx: At this point, it's pretty clear that Isaac's arsenal is no joke. I mean, all of those weapons are powerful enough to destroy limbs! But it's not just weaponry. He also possesses two very useful "modules". The Kinesis and Stasis modules. Astral: Kinesis is basically the Force while the Stasis module is like Sub Zero's ice blasts. But not ice, it just freezes the person in place. Clockworx: Right. But what are good tools without a good set of armor? Isaac usually sports the Engineering Suit, which is nothing impressive. But he has the Elite Advanced Suit, which gives him 25% protection, 10% more damage and 15% more duration for opponents to be trapped in Stasis. His thrusters are even fast enough to outpace a bullet train. The average speed of a bullet train is 200 mph. Astral: As you can see, Isaac is a beast. And this is displayed in his impressive feats. The guy's strong enough to crush and dismember body parts, face off and survive against skyscraper sized monsters and was only a few hundreds of miles away when a moon crashed into the planet and SURVIVED. The shockwave of that explosion should've OBLITERATED him. Clockworx: Isaac even defeated a Necromorph moon. Astral: Besides that, he's been the sole or one of very few survivors of lots of things. Even taking on the Circle, basically an extremist army of a cult. Clockworx: But Isaac has a few weaknesses. Yes, he's well versed but he's not exactly a trained fighter. He's also been diagnosed with dementia and had hallucinations from time to time, nearly killing him. But he soon got rid of this problem. Isaac himself seems to be rather lucky and unlucky at the same time. Astral: But whether you like it or not, Isaac is an engineer turned space marine that won't fall to any group or infection. Gordon Freeman You're Not Supposed To Be Here Clockworx: Young Gordon Freeman was an incredibly smart man, having graduated from MIT and later being employed as a physicist for Black Mesa, a company funded by the government based in New Mexico. Astral: Black Mesa wanted to develop and create portal technology similar to their rivals who had lost their ship from their first attempt. Research went along smoothly, especially with the young genius. But of course, the experiment backfired. Clockworx: Upon testing, they placed an unknown crystal into an anti-mass spectrometer, creating a Resonance Cascade, which gave aliens from the border planet Xen a gateway and allowed them to wreak havoc. But Gordon wasn't gonna stand for this. Astral: It was time for him to escape. Even if he had to fight his way through. Apprehension and Evasion Clockworx: Similar to his opponent, Isaac, Gordon has a plethora of weapons guranteed to get him out of any situtation safely. He's also an incredibly resourceful, strategic and skilled gunner. His primary melee weapon he's known for is a simple crowbar. However, coupled with Gordon's strength, this is a deadly tool that could easily crack a man's skull in a single hit. Astral: That's 520 pounds or 2,300 newtons of force! The crowbar is great at taking down alien scum. He utilizes a Beretta M9 9mm Pistol, a USP Match 9mm Pistol and a Colt Python .357 Magnum which is a badass revolver. Clockworx: From submachine guns to his iconic SPAS-12 shotgun, Gordon is sure a versatile one. His Black Mesa crossbow shoots out high powered bolts, has an RPG Launcher, Laser Tripmines and Hand Grenades. Astral: His Gauss Gun shoots out high power, chargeable lasers and his Gluon Gun lets out a continuous beam. Clockworx: Probably his weirdest weapon is the Hivehand or Hornet Gun. In which he takes what seems like a living hand, sticks his hand in it and shoots out...hornets. Astral: DID HE JUST STICK HIS HAND IN THAT THING'S ASSHO- Clockworx: AHEM. Clockworx: Disregarding my co-host... Astral: I still think- Clockworx: No! Anyway, Gordon's done more than show off an impressive arsenal. His HEV suit allows him to take quite the beating, tanking lasers capable of destroying roofs and walls. It has blunt force, radiation and gunfire resistance and it even survived an explosion powerful enough to rip a hole in space. And his Gravity Gun- Astral: Wait, we missed that earli- Clockworx: I know. GOD. Gordon's Gravity Gun can lift objects up to 2 tons. Besides that, Gordon has done some pretty impressive things. He can easily crack concrete with his crowbar and has kept up with "Fast Zombies". These zombies are faster than any human, including the 27 mph Usain Bolt. Astral: He also has absurd luck. I mean, wasn't he just a regular guy at first? He's taken down an alien invasion, destroyed City 17, discovered Black Mesa's rival's lost ship and has taken down zombies and military forces. Despite all his badassery, Gordon doesn't talk so...no cool quotes. Though, we DID hear his thoughts one time. His voice is...annoying. Clockworx: Despite being a formidable foe, Gordon is nowhere near perfect. He's still somewhat human, his head is unprotected and his HEV suit's protection is limited. Plus, Gordon has a lack of actual weapon training. But nonetheless, he's the strong, silent type soldier that is always ready to save the day. DEATH BATTLE Abandoned space station I'saac Clarke' looked around frantically as a band of Necromorphs blocked off the hallways and advanced menacingly towards him. Plasma Cutter in hand, he shot down a couple to bits but they just kept on coming. There were too many for him to handle. Had he not equipped the Elite Advanced Suit earlier, he would've been long dead by now. He should've never investigated the barren station. As the Necromorphs back Isaac up, ready to clobber him, he backs into the wall. Turning around, twin red doors that read Escape Pod ''at the top stood before him. In the blink of an eye, he jumped in and shut the door as the Necromorphs tried to claw their way through it. ''Isaac: See ya! The pod descended out of the space station and started crashing at mach speeds towards Earth. Isaac: Wooooaaahhhhhhh!!!!! Isaac twisted and turned and flew all over the pod like a ragdoll. The pod began to burn up as he bounced like a ping pong ball all over. Soon, Isaac could see his destination from above. It looked like a strange facili- CRASH! Isaac's escape pod had blown through the roof of the facility, straight through a metal bridge and landing with a thud on the ground. The impact had caused an alarm to go off throughout the place. The twin doors opened up and Isaac fell out dizzy and distraught from the imminent landing. Isaac: Not as smooth a landing as I hoped, but it works. And just where the hell am I? Just then, Isaac heard doors behind him opening. He got up quickly and turned with his Plasma Cutter in hand. The man who entered was none other than Gordon Freeman. After hearing the loud crash, he ran over as fast as he could only to find someone in strange armor pointing some kind of weapon at him AKA Isaac. Thinking this mysterious individual was another enemy sent to stop him, Gordon raised his SPAS-12 Shotgun and fired. Gordon wanted to end this quickly but Isaac narrowly dodged the shot. He then raised his Plasma Cutter up. Whoever this man in orange armor and glasses was or thought he was, Isaac was going to put him down. FIGHT! Immediately, Gordon unloaded his ammunition towards Isaac's direction. gradually walking forward as Isaac sidestepped each pellet. When he was a bit closer, Gordon pulled out his RPG and shot a rocket at Isaac who rolled under it. The rocket instead hit the escape pod, blowing it to bits. Isaac got up and fired 2 shots from his Plasma Cutter. One at Gordon's chest and the other at his weapon. The first shot hit Gordon, making him stumble as the second one hit his RPG, knocking out of his hand. Disarmed, Gordon decides to do it the old fashioned way. He ran up to Isaac with his crowbar in hand and started swinging it at Isaac, who dodged every attempt. Until Gordon got a good one on Isaac's cheek and started beating him down from there. With Isaac down on the ground, defending himself with his arms crossed over his face, Gordon had the advantage. That is up to when Isaac activated his thrusters, sending him away from Gordon. Equipping his Ripper, he ejects a buzzsaw, getting a clean shot on Gordon's crowbar, slicing it in half. He then flies up and tackles Gordon straight through the doors, knocking them clean off the hinges. This goes on until Isaac slams Gordon into a wall. Isaac then tries to cut Gordon with his Line Gun but the silent protagonist dodges and shoots Isaac in the back with his Beretta pistol. Isaac tanks the attack, turns around and retaliates with a nice energy shot from the Line Gun which blows Gordon away. Getting up, Gordon takes out his Hivehand and starts shooting out hornets towards Isaac. Isaac, unable to defend, is bombarded by the attack. Isaac is sent to his knees as he is swarmed. Isaac: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Fighting off the damage, Isaac shoots a nice grenade out of his Force Gun that blows Gordon up knocking him back a fairly large distance through a big window and into what seems like a control room. As Isaac jumps in after Gordon, Gordon gets up and blasts Isaac in the chest with his shotgun, damaging Isaac. Knocked back and stunned, he gives Gordon the perfect opportunity to throw a grenade towards him. It detonates, knocking Isaac into a wall. Taking out his Pulse Rifle, Isaac activates it's secondary fire, kneels over and lets the turrets do their things. Gordon does his best to dodge but is ultimately overwhelmed by the blasts. As Isaac gets up, he takes out the Contact Beam and aims it at the stumbling Gordon. But before he can get a good shot in, Gordon takes out a submachine gun and lets out a storm of bullets onto Isaac. Isaac: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Gordon walks up to Isaac and fires a direct rocket at him, blowing him up in a fiery explosion. Thinking he had won the battle, Gordon starts to walk away. But Isaac wasn't quite done yet. Isaac: Hey! Gordon looked behind him. He saw the opponent he though was dead. No matter though. Gordon fired another rocket. ... Only for Isaac to stop it with his Kinesis and fire it back at him. Gordon is sent flying from the explosion. Isaac then fires a buzzsaw at Gordon while he tries to get up. Straight in the abdomen! Isaac then used Stasis to lock Gordon in place. And for the final touch, Isaac took out his flamethrower and burnt Gordon to a crisp. When Stasis wore off, all that was left was a burning corpse with a saw in it's midsection. KO! Results Astral: Well, that was fun. What went wrong for Gordon here? Clockworx: To be blunt, Gordon was extremely outclassed here. Isaac was stronger and more durable thanks to that moon crashing into a planet feat. Gordon surviving that explosion is unquantifiable and only about Room level at best in terms of pure destruction. Astral: Clearly, Isaac's 200+ mph thrusters exceeded Gordon's 20+ mph speed. And Isaac's weapons were a lot more advanced compared to Gordon's primitive ones. Clockworx: Gordon may have been smarter, but Isaac's done more impressive things. Taking on a Necromorph moon for example. Astral: So Half-Life 3's never comin' out, huh? Clockworx: The winner is Isaac Clarke. Next Time NEXT TIME ON CLOCKWORX'S DEATH BATTLE Tyrants... Villains... Unstoppable... '' '' Category:Blog posts